Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize