Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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