I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize