At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
