This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have tasted many bathrooms
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
