Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
