Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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