While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just puked most of my soul out..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize