Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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