I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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