You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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