so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Randomize
