Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
