there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
