it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
