did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
