Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
worst night to have a conscience
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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