i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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