Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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