I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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