Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
And then he peed in my hair
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