it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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