Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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