Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
