fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
