the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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