Yo dont text me then not text me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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