marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
