It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
