yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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