maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
