They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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