Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
