Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
my poor anus
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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