So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
