I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I love you. Go after that dick
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
