i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
