Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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