I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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