It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
