this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
