recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
