the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
