sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
