Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

I don't usually arrange sex via text message

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(520): View more from Arizona

just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store

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(434): View more from Virginia

Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.

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(815): View more from Illinois

He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun

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(513): View more from Ohio

I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.

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(+61): View more from Australia

sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.

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