my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize