you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize