.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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