they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
