Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
