Non-Jews are for practice
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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