well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
