More tranny stories later!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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