is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
