Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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