what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sorry about my life...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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