Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
