it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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